What Greg said to this situation was, “Come on Fionna. I’m disappointed as well, but do you really think you’d be able to work full time, run your Etsy store and do music at the same time? You’d probably look back at this in a few weeks and just be glad you didn’t get this job.”
With that confrontation, I had one of those twisty embarrassing feelings that goes something like- ‘yes I know what I’m in for, but I was hoping you don’t so that I could overlook all those risks and start working however hard I want! I hate to know that you know this all along!’. But all those thoughts sums up into hiding under a pillow going,“O, shut up! Shut up! Shut up...!!!" Greg’s mum also mentioned that she didn’t think the job would be good for me if I have to work on weekends, because that would mean I have to spend less time with Greg.
Knowing that, I thank God for His wisdom and for laying His hands in my situation, as well as everyone who had prayed for me. That night I also learnt what humble cake tastes like. My parents put me through a private school, I travel a lot, have a degree, and yet I don’t need those things to get a job. But with all those privileges, I still grew up feeling like the world is impossible to live in.
The next morning, my friend Meg Milton sent me a quote of encouragement. It is from the writings of Andrew Murray when he was asked from a friend of how he coped during a time of crisis:
“First: He brought me here, it is by His will I am in this strait place; in that I will rest.
Next: He will keep me here in His love, and give me grace in this trial to behave as His child.
Then: He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me the lessons He intends me to learn, and working in me the grace He means to bestow.
Last: In His good time, He can bring me out again--how and when, He knows.
Say: I am HERE--By God's appointment, in His keeping, under His training, for His time.”
I rest on those words knowing that God had answered me once and He will answer me again. I picked up what’s left of my courage and my pile of resumes and start knocking on florists doors again. I was scared and tired from the heat, but I’m glad I went because at the end of the day, I found 2 things:
A Canberra handmade shop had opened last year in April. I just happen to walk pass it because it was next to a florist I had hand in my resume into. It’s basically handmade things appearing in the commercial world- and stuff like that just doesn’t happen in Canberra. Caberra is full of talented artists, but there’s always a definite line between ‘retail’ and ‘market’ unlike places like Melbourne or Sydney. I saw so many items there that I’ve seen sold on Etsy and kindda felt like I was meeting familiar faces. So I went up to the counter and ask what do I have to do to get my stuff in the store.
Turns out they also have a big market happening 3 times a year at the Convention Centre. This is really huge for me... it seems like the logical next step as a handmade artist to be involved in stuff like this.
Just before I left for home, I went to Prickles florist near the bus stop. Last week my friend Simon told me that they were interviewing people, but I didn’t go because of Adore Tea. Turns out she hadn’t found anyone yet and after she saw some photos of my flower arrangements, she slot me in for a trial. When she said ‘trial’ I thought it was only a couple of hours of work to see if she likes me or not. Turns out it was actually a 3 months trial period... I only realize this on my first day at work.
My first day at Prickles was nerve racking because there’s A LOT to learn and it’s a very different florist that I’ve ever worked in. I felt like I have to move and learn fast all the time, so it makes me really nervous. With that being said, I only work 3 days a week plus some weekends if there’s weddings involved. And the shop is only 10 minutes by bus from home.
When Greg’s mum heard about this place she said, “It looks like your name is written all over that one”. My friend Amanda wrote to me on facebook ,” what wonderful news. The type of job you want. The place you want. The hours you want. What more could you want?”. Oh my goodness, she’s SO right! If that’s what I want then the job at Adore Tea wasn’t even close to what suits me! It’s really funny how sometimes our friends and relatives are more aware of what you are and what you need a lot more than yourself. Those things are a sign from God... a big fat ‘YES’ coming down from the sky. Maybe sometimes my head is just crazy and unreasonable. I’m just SO thankful to know that someone BIGGER than me is taking control of my life.
